i thought i did to i might have to spank him later
and Jason have you tried that diesel trick yet? if so did it work
The one, the only, ME.
thats dirty...............roy spanks monkeys
happy b-day
and Sunday ill be lowered FINALLY YAY!
The one, the only, ME.
Quote:
and Jason have you tried that diesel trick yet? if so did it work
No, I took the valve cover off to see if it was a broken valve or spring, and found coolant. So the head gasket is bad, I hope that's all. But you can't see any water on the dipstick....strange...........After I get the cav moving again I'll get to the bird.
Jason
USACi =>146.9db
14.88 @ 90.73MPH =>GM Charger, Motor Mounts, Catback exhaust
damn that sucks to hear well good luck getting it going again
The one, the only, ME.
Last night at school we had a mind reader/hypnotist guy performing and me and one of my roommates went cause it seemed interesting. Towards the end he hands me a tube light bulb and brings me up on stage. He tells me to look into the watch that he had in his hand and imagine a beam of light n yada yada yada....well, then I look at the light bulb and it lights up! In my hand! No wires or anything n when I close my eyes it goes out. It was so cool to see.
The bulb lights up because of static electricity, but I still dunno how exactly it works.
~Heather
****new sig coming soon!!!**** (hopefully)lol
"I'm the girl your mother warned you about" te he he
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends
over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools
use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses
it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is
flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a
northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the
front of the cage along with... "serving suggestion".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say
the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
*BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and
a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time.." A
southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe
this @!#$..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
-----"Smile! People will wonder what you've been up to..."
i got bored at work.......can you tell?
What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
funny! lol stupid but funny....
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i like the southern jokes the most
once upon atime a guy asked a girl "will you marry me" the girl said no and the guyt lived happilly ever after and went fishing and hunting a lot the end
P.S. he also drank beer and played golf whenever he wanted
The one, the only, ME.
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 091101--You are cleared to land eastbound on
runway 180R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on runway 180R.
Allah be Praised!"
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Egypt Air 091102--You are cleared to land westbound on
runway 180R."
Egypt Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on runway 180R.
God is Great."
Pause: Static--
Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"
Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi?"
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY!!! INSTRUCTIONS
PLEASE!!!
Dallas ATC: Y'all be careful now--ya' hear?"
The one, the only, ME.
nice. where did you get that
THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES, FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no @!#$; Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
(Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
The one, the only, ME.
04eco wrote:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
I heard a similar story from an investigator I know, went like this:
A lady around 400lbs or so, wanted some sort of a insurance disability check. So of course she had to be examined. The doctor notices from the get-go that the lady doesn't shower/bathe often enough. Well, she complains in the medical record of "itching, and a sicking smell" when she itches near her breasts. So the doctor checks it out....... turns out there is MOLD growing under her breasts, and the skin is litterally ROTTING away from bacteria, etc from not washing enough.
So women, if you have bigguns, remember to wash under your boobs!
that is disgustingly hilarious hahaha
The one, the only, ME.
^^^ agreed
My momma told me I was cool = )
bwahahahaha! i just saw a commercial for weeble wobbles...
